Comments for Darkness Before Light http://tanzilla.wordpress.com Facing the Inner Darkness Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:04:24 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on by beyond http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1426 beyond Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:04:24 +0000 http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1426 very sorry to hear about it.like what others said,first years are hard.but i am glad that you are finding the right way which is the silent treatment,dont pay attention as long as you can.your baby needs you and it will be a good distraction for you in future-the best piece of advice i can give you after being married for 6 years is that stop expecting things from your husband.be independent,be self reliant.thats the key to your own peace of mind.you alone will be your own savior. very sorry to hear about it.like what others said,first years are hard.but i am glad that you are finding the right way which is the silent treatment,dont pay attention as long as you can.your baby needs you and it will be a good distraction for you in future-the best piece of advice i can give you after being married for 6 years is that stop expecting things from your husband.be independent,be self reliant.thats the key to your own peace of mind.you alone will be your own savior.

]]> Comment on by falsa http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1425 falsa Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:44:24 +0000 http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1425 Just act like you depend on him. Rely heavily. Men I know for a fact love it, but some of them are stupid enough to beleive it. My mum tells me that initial years are the hardest, in fact both my parents tell me that if you stick the first 5 years out, you're good. He's being stingy because he knows you have money. Don't use your spendings, or else he'd think you can handle things. He's unimportant and that's what sends him in a rage (maybe). Just act like you depend on him. Rely heavily. Men I know for a fact love it, but some of them are stupid enough to beleive it. My mum tells me that initial years are the hardest, in fact both my parents tell me that if you stick the first 5 years out, you’re good.

He’s being stingy because he knows you have money. Don’t use your spendings, or else he’d think you can handle things. He’s unimportant and that’s what sends him in a rage (maybe).

]]> Comment on by tanzilla http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1424 tanzilla Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:26:02 +0000 http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1424 saba: but he doesnt let me enjoy my life as well. he has to control my life too....always criticizing, always commenting, always sneering. nw i give him the silent treatment, ignore him, still he continue hounding and pestering me. he wants to control what i eat and when i sleep even inthis condition....imagine being awken 4 times a night and being asked: are u asleep? he hasalways bullied his siblings around , even his mother, so now im a natural add-on to his list. ibetda: hehhe...mine is stingy as hell, like i commented on ur blog. whatever tht was spent on wedding was show, he doesnt want to spend a dime on his wife. i get something sometimes...but that's abt it. havent shopped or done anything in the past four month that have proven that i m a hard to maintain person. i vstarted spending my own savings now. saba: but he doesnt let me enjoy my life as well. he has to control my life too….always criticizing, always commenting, always sneering. nw i give him the silent treatment, ignore him, still he continue hounding and pestering me. he wants to control what i eat and when i sleep even inthis condition….imagine being awken 4 times a night and being asked: are u asleep? he hasalways bullied his siblings around , even his mother, so now im a natural add-on to his list.

ibetda: hehhe…mine is stingy as hell, like i commented on ur blog. whatever tht was spent on wedding was show, he doesnt want to spend a dime on his wife. i get something sometimes…but that’s abt it. havent shopped or done anything in the past four month that have proven that i m a hard to maintain person. i vstarted spending my own savings now.

]]> Comment on by ibteda http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1423 ibteda Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:19:06 +0000 http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1423 MIR didnt say anything except raising his eyebrows cause A. IS the best when it comes to IT. But hahaha, I sooo think the same thing when my MIL asks me to fix A.'s spending habits! he does not KNOW the meaning of savings & in his view, if there ARE going to be any rainy days in future, then we should be making the most of life abhi anyways :d MIR didnt say anything except raising his eyebrows cause A. IS the best when it comes to IT.
But hahaha, I sooo think the same thing when my MIL asks me to fix A.’s spending habits! he does not KNOW the meaning of savings & in his view, if there ARE going to be any rainy days in future, then we should be making the most of life abhi anyways :d

]]> Comment on by Saba http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1422 Saba Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:15:16 +0000 http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1422 That's how they all are. What I would like to say to you Tanzilla, is that don't stress out that much. Don't worry about him so much that you forget to enjoy your own life. Try to make peace with what he is like, I'm sure there must be things about you that he finds difficult to absorb too, but the good thing with men is that they don't bother too much - they even don't put in effort to care! That's something we females have to learn from them - to NOT care! That’s how they all are. What I would like to say to you Tanzilla, is that don’t stress out that much. Don’t worry about him so much that you forget to enjoy your own life. Try to make peace with what he is like, I’m sure there must be things about you that he finds difficult to absorb too, but the good thing with men is that they don’t bother too much – they even don’t put in effort to care! That’s something we females have to learn from them – to NOT care!

]]> Comment on by tanzilla http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1421 tanzilla Fri, 06 Nov 2009 06:58:14 +0000 http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1421 ibteda: true...hahha....wot was the outcome...wot irritates me abt my husband is the sense of superiority he and the men in general enjoy in the familysans any sense of responsibility . Mil awlays tells me u can fix him and im like what were u doing for so long that 2 of ur kids have turned out to be such a piece of job? ibteda: true…hahha….wot was the outcome…wot irritates me abt my husband is the sense of superiority he and the men in general enjoy in the familysans any sense of responsibility . Mil awlays tells me u can fix him and im like what were u doing for so long that 2 of ur kids have turned out to be such a piece of job?

]]> Comment on by ibteda http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1420 ibteda Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:47:14 +0000 http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1420 SO, yeah, almost ALL men cant help being lazy I guess. SO, yeah, almost ALL men cant help being lazy I guess.

]]> Comment on by ibteda http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1419 ibteda Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:45:12 +0000 http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1419 My husband has kept MIR - the owner of Jang Group - waiting for atleast half an hour cause he just CANT get up early. My husband has kept MIR – the owner of Jang Group – waiting for atleast half an hour cause he just CANT get up early.

]]> Comment on by tanzilla http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1418 tanzilla Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:43:32 +0000 http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1418 saba: ya slothfulness. i too wondered initially if i was way too active for him, but it is him. i mean the man would get up way early in the morning, shower, get ready, read the paper and have breakfast and then declare that he is not going cuz he is not going well. And then he wd sit at home and sulk abt the prospect of losing his job. And if i dare force him to gfo or confront him on his mysterious tabyat, he wd become defensive. i find it too disturbing and hard to cope with. so i wonder if a young one's responsibilty wd make him grow up anymore. saba: ya slothfulness. i too wondered initially if i was way too active for him, but it is him. i mean the man would get up way early in the morning, shower, get ready, read the paper and have breakfast and then declare that he is not going cuz he is not going well. And then he wd sit at home and sulk abt the prospect of losing his job. And if i dare force him to gfo or confront him on his mysterious tabyat, he wd become defensive. i find it too disturbing and hard to cope with. so i wonder if a young one’s responsibilty wd make him grow up anymore.

]]> Comment on by Saba http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1417 Saba Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:35:32 +0000 http://tanzilla.wordpress.com/2009/10/15/229/#comment-1417 lol @ 'slothfulness' - trust me, they all are like that and don't expect that to get any better! :) i still can't figure out whether my hubby is too lazy, or i'm too active - though i have a strong feeling it is the former ;) About it getting better with time, well it does get better in terms that you 'adapt' with each other, consciously as well as unconsciously! lol @ ’slothfulness’ – trust me, they all are like that and don’t expect that to get any better! :) i still can’t figure out whether my hubby is too lazy, or i’m too active – though i have a strong feeling it is the former ;)

About it getting better with time, well it does get better in terms that you ‘adapt’ with each other, consciously as well as unconsciously!

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