The past few days have been the combination of it all; the good, the bad and the ugly. Work pressure is monumental; the home front hasn’t been that good as well. Both parents succumbed to flu and asthma bouts again, and then they refuse to go to Drs. or follow any care regimen or instructions. So once I am back from work, having my head bent on my desk all day, I spend the rest of the time being bent on the stove….no wonder my back aches so much these days. Call it a sort of penance for the vacations. Anyhooo……. Not getting any time for myself these days…. but its ok, I got a good vacation…yahheee
On a different note, a weird thing happened the third auraat in the “teen aurteein, teen kahnian trio”, she got married off by her family on a one week notice. We learnt about it two days prior to the actual event. There was nothing to ask, as she didn’t know anything herself. Maybe she was confused; maybe she was afraid, maybe she was scared and tired that asking too many questions may shoo away the prospect. We didn’t ask her as well, as we were equally confused and apprehensive of what she was getting into. She deserved well because she tries to think and do well for everyone that comes in contact with her, even strangers, without expecting anything in return. She counseled my parents when they were too distraught while dealing with the in-laws. She made us learn how to live like a loser, and celebrate it. She taught us how our spiritual life and values transcend above our losses and lack of prospects and hardships in the material world. So the heart, this foolish heart yearned for something good to happen to her, the long-overdue happiness. This is, folks, life after 35-40, where the groom is the larka, but the woman is called as over-aged middle-aged dame. Retarded desi culture. The day came; we went, not sure if this was happening actually or not. Then we saw her, a lil bit made up, not by the standard of the typical paki bride, just a hint of makeup and a cream colored dress with a few sequins and beads. And she was cracking one too many jokes about her own age and late marriage. And this was the very first time in my life that I attended an actual nikah as well, and not the shadi with this typical dance and music and showdown of gaudy clothes and jewelry.
The relatives looked inquisitive; the sister-in-laws were concerned the possibility of the guests ruining their house; only the kids looked heart-broken on the prospect of losing their ajji (sister, kahala, phoppo – all rolled in one). Thank goodness the groom behaved and didnt oggle at us. We were finally dropped off to our place at 2:00.a.m. The friend stayed in for the night, we still couldn’t believe what happened, although we had taken pictures as a proof. Then, the lady in question returned to work after two days (the hubby gone where he was supposed to go, she would join later). No body knows about it at work. She didn’t look too happy and thought the hubby to be too rigid, dry and boring. However, she would try to make it work, as there is no other option. Workplace, your home, your parents, your siblings, there comes a time when every one begins to treat you like a stranger. You can say that again!
Update: now she has started sharing the details and they are pretty unsavory. She wed for the ‘married’ tag; he, for material boost that her salary would bring in. She has already been inquired about her bank accounts, savings, jewelry, etc (which she dint disclose thank goodness. She has also been asked to start making the down payment of a house (in his name maybe bcz interest rates are high for non-residents). The gentleman in question already has a wife and children, whom he claims that he loves greatly (and this marriage was just boosting his income – wow). The first wife has consented to the marriage but she won’t allow her to stay in her house; hence, the husband would meet the 2nd wife for a few hours every month. However, none of this has broken her heart, she knew of this and willingly accepted it all. What was killing her is the fact that he has declined to have children with her for the same reason – financial constraints. So no plans in the near future for starting a family. What is ironical is that she felt that she had to accept this shoddy proposal because of lack of options and lack of time that is her biological clock was ticking. And now he is denying her this one thing, this only thing that she wanted from this marriage. Oh yes the ‘badge of honor’ the ‘married’ tag is there, now her family and relatives are treating her differently. They are thinking her to be very happy, contented and what not. And she prefers to keep it that way…. Wise or silly? Wise maybe …knowing the contentment and the allegiance to the higher purpose and plain of existence that guide her day to day life….but stifling nevertheless…. Silly because…this is how the rest of her life is going to be…….
