It’s Over

Just as that, as swiftly as it begun, it’s over now! No more compromises, no more negotiations, no more emotional baggages to deal with, no more giving in. It took me a while to see thru this, but I have seen it that he is mentally unstable. What else would u call a person who is affectionate and warm one moment and the very next moment tells me that the difference in ethnic backgrounds between us is bothering him and now he wants to interact with my family first (once he is back) and then want to decide if he wants to continue this or not. Once the shock and disbelief is over, indignation sets in. What gives people the power to misuse and berate another person? He doesn’t respect me, he doesn’t respect my parents, he doesn’t respect the existing relationship bw us. I do understand that this is god’s way of saving me from harm, but still this doesn’t stop me from asking, why did it happen in the first place, how long is this supposed to go on? Why me? Why are other people happy in their relationships? Why don’t they know of heart ache as I have known?  Is there something wrong with me? Am I evil? Do I deserve this?  There would be a long and arduous process waiting for our family after this dealing with to be in laws and nosy relatives. And then what? I don’t know….

How does one deal with it? Practice hasn’t made me a better person, hasn’t improved my ability to cope. Every crisis affirms my faith an yet ironically, at certain moments, they take me away from god.

Relationships – the Imbroglio

Me

So the world doesn’t stop spinning when I am out of the room. The world still doesn’t seem a better place to be in after being back, but then that’s the way it is meant to be. There are emails waiting in my inbox that need to be replied. Blogs to be visited. Friends to have get togethers with. However, sometimes the body’s natural response to stress is lethargy, and due to the gruesome time that I recently had, I retracted into a hard shell. I took a break from work, from the online world too, due to my laptop’s break down and the ban on pk blogs (which still continues). Hence, I have little idea of what’s happening with everyone else. I have to update everyone’s blogs’ links here…a lot of tweaking to be done on this page too.  

Him

Things are ok with me for a while, he retains his tendency of saying something sweet one moment and insanely stupid the next (Some people call it normal), so stupid that I want to whack him with something hard and large. Well we define a new normal for ourselves every day, and we make it work (how long…I don’t know). I have more guy friends than girls, and yet no amount of experience with the opposite sex can prepare you for the specimen that you earn as your would be better half. He/she would be a breed apart. Speaking of breeds, there is a different breed in the opposite sex; one that neither makes it to the buddy list nor the brother list ironically, strategically or mysteriously. Well the minute you break the news of your getting hitched to them, their response is: “But we were interested in you!” And my response to it is:” Ya right!”

Others

There is a lot happened during the past month. Two of my best friends’ got married. So congrats to brother Om and Acro.
Om who used to send an average of 4 sms every day, is now sending em ..let’s see 1 sms after 8 days or so…I a sure it would now go down to 1 sms per month.: ) so typical of brothers. As for acro, he is who is. Someone who is dutiful and considerate and would always be (hopefully).

In the blogging world, S has walked down the isle. All I can say about her is that Not knowing her is like missing out on life itself. Another blogger to tie the knot is Unaiza, whose fiancé’s blog I used to visit when he was in US of A (I have figured this out only now hehee.. : )). There are some love matches here, some arranged ones…. Wishing the very best to all of these.

My best friend was finally back from aussi land after her study leave of one year. Was looking so much forward to spend time with her. She crashed at my place and we used to bicker and chatter all night long. She brought her own baggage of problems. Her love interest of 5 years is suddenly back in her life again (after getting nikkahofied and divorced in a span of 1 year). What’s stopping her now from tying the knot now is what has been there since 5 years and would always be. The difference of Religions! Yet we tried. I was blackmailed into having a talk with her parents by another mutual friend, and as a result, i was yelled and trashed upon along with my own religion. Yups her parents screamed at me, i was expecting that. I don’t mind seriously. I just want her to be happ, to be able to think for herself rather than fulfilling the needs of her selfish siblings. The reactions of parties who are involved in this silent feud’s reactions are absurd as well as hilarious:

 

• Why are you converting, why isn’t he converting? (Hindu approach)

• Convert, let him save your soul. (Muslim approach)

• Both of you should stick to your own faith and get married. (Liberal approach)

• Why are you converting into a shia muslim, you are buying a losing deal for yourself, turn into a sunni Muslim. (Sectarian approach)   

• Forget all men, they are gutless, why did he get married at all? He is coming back to you only now as he is divorced. (Feminist approach)

• Don’t make any decision, Run away from this madness! (Escapist approach)

Well I don’t blame her if at present she wants to opt for the last option (is that an option at all?)