Darkness Before Light

August 15, 2006

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Filed under: Uncategorized — tanzilla @ 9:46 pm

New Kids on the Block!




There is this stray cats that runs amuck in the office lawn ever since i have been here. We call her fluffy, as she is white, very furry and clean, with a bushy tail. She reminds me of Tom’s girl friend (from Tom & Jerry – Remember her? With her long eye lashes? Tom used to try to impress her with diamonds and wrappign up and presenting jerry as a gift ). This is the third time Madam Fluffy got pregnant. The rest of her litter didn’t survive. I am posting the pictures of her litter – 3 kittens. 2 r white with blue eyes and 1 is of mixed colors. They spend most of their time outside my office under the bench, are most adorable. Since fluffy would be abandoning them after a week or so, as she is too amorous a cat, so in case any one is interested….they can come and take the kittens home ;) .
P.S.: The credit for the pics and this post’s title goes to our IT manager.

Update: 2 kittens left. 1 of the white kitten is no more to be found. The remaining two are very frisky. The mom is always begging for food and caresses, but we aren’t allowed to feed her. The housekeeping staff takes care of it on their own after hours thru leftovers. But it’s darn hard to say no to a hungry feline.

August 9, 2006

115512359747629622

Filed under: Uncategorized — tanzilla @ 3:47 am

Life At Pause
Lying wide awake at 3 am, I roll around in my bed and bathed in my own feverish sweat. Nocturnal wedding festivities are at full swing at some nearby house. Drums being beaten, claps, chatter and laughter…..While my heartbeat resounds in my ear drums. As spasms of pain and paranoia travel up and down the length of my whole body, I fight back the urge to throw up food and medicine again. I feel like throwing up, no what I really feel like is – giving up, the will to fight back, to hang in there another day. I have been more ill this year than well, and I really don’t know the reason. I recall so many feverish nights like these, of being down and under. The prospect of losing control over the body is scary, as scary as losing control of one’s mind. And I have experienced both. Sometimes, it’s sheer will power that keeps you going, and when that runs out…one just doesn’t know what to fall back upon. Life is at a pause this very moment, in this very phase. It has come to a grinding halt! It refuses to budge forward. It’s easier to rewind the events of the past 12 or 22 years or so of my life, rewind all in just one spin; yet it was harder to live them. It is harder still, of whatever is left of it! Life is seeping painstakingly slow through the sand clock of time, grain by grain. An emaciated, moldy existence, was this all I was to be? All I could be? …..As good as it gets. What do I have to recount for in the past decades? Illnesses, heartaches, misery, struggles…. My life is just a broken record, stuck at a chord, the frozen screen of a movie that refuses to budge forward. The real life is no different than the reel life. It’s only that I am the sidekick, not part of the script but the side bar. Never the show stealer, part of the limelight – never. My life is stuck at two buttons, Pause and Rewind, Pause and Rewind; while the lives of those around me are moving fast forward at a mind boggling speed. Everyday, in every way, they are becoming strangers to me; our points of references are no longer the same. Strangers become acquaintances, acquaintances become friends; Friends change into acquaintances, acquaintances change into strangers. Rounder and rounder goes the merry go round, harder and deeper in to the rut this Marry falls down.

115512359747629622

Filed under: Uncategorized — tanzilla @ 3:47 am

Life At Pause
Lying wide awake at 3 am, I roll around in my bed and bathed in my own feverish sweat. Nocturnal wedding festivities are at full swing at some nearby house. Drums being beaten, claps, chatter and laughter…..While my heartbeat resounds in my ear drums. As spasms of pain and paranoia travel up and down the length of my whole body, I fight back the urge to throw up food and medicine again. I feel like throwing up, no what I really feel like is – giving up, the will to fight back, to hang in there another day. I have been more ill this year than well, and I really don’t know the reason. I recall so many feverish nights like these, of being down and under. The prospect of losing control over the body is scary, as scary as losing control of one’s mind. And I have experienced both. Sometimes, it’s sheer will power that keeps you going, and when that runs out…one just doesn’t know what to fall back upon. Life is at a pause this very moment, in this very phase. It has come to a grinding halt! It refuses to budge forward. It’s easier to rewind the events of the past 12 or 22 years or so of my life, rewind all in just one spin; yet it was harder to live them. It is harder still, of whatever is left of it! Life is seeping painstakingly slow through the sand clock of time, grain by grain. An emaciated, moldy existence, was this all I was to be? All I could be? …..As good as it gets. What do I have to recount for in the past decades? Illnesses, heartaches, misery, struggles…. My life is just a broken record, stuck at a chord, the frozen screen of a movie that refuses to budge forward. The real life is no different than the reel life. It’s only that I am the sidekick, not part of the script but the side bar. Never the show stealer, part of the limelight – never. My life is stuck at two buttons, Pause and Rewind, Pause and Rewind; while the lives of those around me are moving fast forward at a mind boggling speed. Everyday, in every way, they are becoming strangers to me; our points of references are no longer the same. Strangers become acquaintances, acquaintances become friends; Friends change into acquaintances, acquaintances change into strangers. Rounder and rounder goes the merry go round, harder and deeper in to the rut this Marry falls down.

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