Darkness Before Light

October 12, 2005

112911252814325701

Filed under: Uncategorized — tanzilla @ 3:20 am

When the Earth Would be Shaken…
By the Name of God who is most benevolent and merciful

When the earth would be shaken full throttle. And the earth would spew out all what it has been concealing. And (upon seeing the earth in this condition,) man would ask: “What has happened to the earth?” And on that day the earth is going to narrate all it has gone through (good and bad conditions). Because the Prophet (P.B.U.H) had asked it to do so. And then on day, people would revisit their faith, in order to re-evaluate their deeds. And then, whosoever who has done the smallest of good deed, would see it reflected within the earth. And who so ever has done the smallest of misdeed would see it reflected there within.

Translation of Surrah Zalzaal.

Somebody once told me that life can change in a heart beat. I didn’t believe it much until then. But now i do! The lives of this nation have been changed dramatically within a matter of minutes – for the worse. It could have been you or me. In thanking God, I am forced to ask myself: “Are we thanking Him for the fact that it was them and not us?” It took me years, a life time to learn to be thankful to Him, but now I have to unlearn what I have learnt. For it is only mercy that I can seek.
Every time you check, the number of casualties has escalated. The images speak of a loss of a whole generation and not just a massive loss of lives. And then there are those needing help to sustain whatever is left of them and in them. In speaking what one has done so far in this regard, is to actually shed light on how little one has done, and how much there still remains to be done. But never before in life, I have regretted the choice of my career. I wish I was a doctor or at least a nurse, so I could at least have helped in the sorting of the medicines if nothing else.

It is curious how life always seems to be running in two opposite extremes! there are people who are finding means to help. There are those who would just sit and analyze with the alacrity of “experts”. Then there are those who are least bothered and running around the city with music blaring from their car stereos irrespective of the nationwide mourning, planning iftar parties and eid shopping and attending them. But that’s a matter of personal choice and inclination. And i dont want to assume a ‘holier than thou’ attitude’. But I couldn’t believe the reports of the sudden shooting up of the prices of the most unlikely item i.e. a shroud. But then again, ignorance, insensitivity, greed are personal choices.

112911252814325701

Filed under: Uncategorized — tanzilla @ 3:20 am

When the Earth Would be Shaken…
By the Name of God who is most benevolent and merciful

When the earth would be shaken full throttle. And the earth would spew out all what it has been concealing. And (upon seeing the earth in this condition,) man would ask: “What has happened to the earth?” And on that day the earth is going to narrate all it has gone through (good and bad conditions). Because the Prophet (P.B.U.H) had asked it to do so. And then on day, people would revisit their faith, in order to re-evaluate their deeds. And then, whosoever who has done the smallest of good deed, would see it reflected within the earth. And who so ever has done the smallest of misdeed would see it reflected there within.

Translation of Surrah Zalzaal.

Somebody once told me that life can change in a heart beat. I didn’t believe it much until then. But now i do! The lives of this nation have been changed dramatically within a matter of minutes – for the worse. It could have been you or me. In thanking God, I am forced to ask myself: “Are we thanking Him for the fact that it was them and not us?” It took me years, a life time to learn to be thankful to Him, but now I have to unlearn what I have learnt. For it is only mercy that I can seek.
Every time you check, the number of casualties has escalated. The images speak of a loss of a whole generation and not just a massive loss of lives. And then there are those needing help to sustain whatever is left of them and in them. In speaking what one has done so far in this regard, is to actually shed light on how little one has done, and how much there still remains to be done. But never before in life, I have regretted the choice of my career. I wish I was a doctor or at least a nurse, so I could at least have helped in the sorting of the medicines if nothing else.

It is curious how life always seems to be running in two opposite extremes! there are people who are finding means to help. There are those who would just sit and analyze with the alacrity of “experts”. Then there are those who are least bothered and running around the city with music blaring from their car stereos irrespective of the nationwide mourning, planning iftar parties and eid shopping and attending them. But that’s a matter of personal choice and inclination. And i dont want to assume a ‘holier than thou’ attitude’. But I couldn’t believe the reports of the sudden shooting up of the prices of the most unlikely item i.e. a shroud. But then again, ignorance, insensitivity, greed are personal choices.

October 7, 2005

112871743516673635

Filed under: Uncategorized — tanzilla @ 1:35 pm

Ramadan
Ramadan is finally here! Every time around, it seems that ramadan comes around rather quicker and earlier. Since for quite a number of years I was accustomed to ramadan in winters, hence i am feeling a lil bit out of sorts this time. I don’t know if any body else is feeling that way or not. The body’s metabolism and my inner bio-rhythms would take time to get accustomed to the new change in routine; the nocturnal feeding, the day without caffeine, chitter chatter and songs, and the eventual feast that follows the sundown, when the fast is broken. The month of blessing is actually a time to hog up food. And since i am not much of a food enthusiast; hence, i feel out of sorts yet again:
*Invitations to iftar parties beckon.
*Friends make plans to make use of all the ridiculous iftar and sehri deals at eateries.
*Silly cookery shows tell you how to make your food even more greasier.
*Rooh-a-fza has been replaced by coca cola.
*Shopping malls stay crowded till wee hours at night
*From sugar to shoes, everything is supposed to be on sale, and yet is horribly over priced.
*Holy recitals blare from the teletube,shops and cars.
*The taraweeh marathons continue
*Pop singers have become naat reciters for the time being.
*Guys play all-night cricket matches from night till the wee hours of morning.

Commercialized brand of religiosity. Ramadan is so much more than food, partying and shopping. There is a charged energy and activity everywhere…And yet there is something missing in the air…a certain peace…i fish out a memory in order to relive the feeling that i want to experience…the memory of waking up in the middle of the night, of walking bare footed through isles and alleys, specifically through a field filled with grains, all the while with my sandals in my hands, walking towards the green dome encircled by white pigeons…the breeze caressing my face… my slightly dusty feet meeting the coolness of the marble floor….making me feel as if i am striding across water or glass…it was medina…decades back… and i was a mere child…and some what innocent and untainted. Somewhere in the midst of growing up…i have ended up all twisted and mangled out of shape… For me…every year around, the excitement graph that surrounds festivals, occasion, celebrations go down for me, the somberness grows, since i am unable to feel that sort of a peace again. That’s why since many years, i prefer to stay indoors during this month….

The train of my low blood sugar induced thoughts gets interrupted… I am ‘here’…and this is ‘now’..the mozzan chants meliferously, and some how his voice raises above all – the sleepy city, just like the pigeons in the holyland…praying to the god unknown, invisible and mysterious god…”God is great…god is great…prayer is better than sleep…prayer is better than sleep…”
i recite the prayer for starting my fast and sprawl the prayer mat…I set out to reclaim sleep or wakening…I don’t know…

Post-Review-A-Day-After: Man..bad prose!!…the narrative is too jerky for my own comfort…but it was the first draft..and my drafts always need logical connectors and fillers. Right now – i can’t manage to provide those… as my brain is going dead slowly from low sugar level in da blood…

112871743516673635

Filed under: Uncategorized — tanzilla @ 1:35 pm

Ramadan
Ramadan is finally here! Every time around, it seems that ramadan comes around rather quicker and earlier. Since for quite a number of years I was accustomed to ramadan in winters, hence i am feeling a lil bit out of sorts this time. I don’t know if any body else is feeling that way or not. The body’s metabolism and my inner bio-rhythms would take time to get accustomed to the new change in routine; the nocturnal feeding, the day without caffeine, chitter chatter and songs, and the eventual feast that follows the sundown, when the fast is broken. The month of blessing is actually a time to hog up food. And since i am not much of a food enthusiast; hence, i feel out of sorts yet again:
*Invitations to iftar parties beckon.
*Friends make plans to make use of all the ridiculous iftar and sehri deals at eateries.
*Silly cookery shows tell you how to make your food even more greasier.
*Rooh-a-fza has been replaced by coca cola.
*Shopping malls stay crowded till wee hours at night
*From sugar to shoes, everything is supposed to be on sale, and yet is horribly over priced.
*Holy recitals blare from the teletube,shops and cars.
*The taraweeh marathons continue
*Pop singers have become naat reciters for the time being.
*Guys play all-night cricket matches from night till the wee hours of morning.

Commercialized brand of religiosity. Ramadan is so much more than food, partying and shopping. There is a charged energy and activity everywhere…And yet there is something missing in the air…a certain peace…i fish out a memory in order to relive the feeling that i want to experience…the memory of waking up in the middle of the night, of walking bare footed through isles and alleys, specifically through a field filled with grains, all the while with my sandals in my hands, walking towards the green dome encircled by white pigeons…the breeze caressing my face… my slightly dusty feet meeting the coolness of the marble floor….making me feel as if i am striding across water or glass…it was medina…decades back… and i was a mere child…and some what innocent and untainted. Somewhere in the midst of growing up…i have ended up all twisted and mangled out of shape… For me…every year around, the excitement graph that surrounds festivals, occasion, celebrations go down for me, the somberness grows, since i am unable to feel that sort of a peace again. That’s why since many years, i prefer to stay indoors during this month….

The train of my low blood sugar induced thoughts gets interrupted… I am ‘here’…and this is ‘now’..the mozzan chants meliferously, and some how his voice raises above all – the sleepy city, just like the pigeons in the holyland…praying to the god unknown, invisible and mysterious god…”God is great…god is great…prayer is better than sleep…prayer is better than sleep…”
i recite the prayer for starting my fast and sprawl the prayer mat…I set out to reclaim sleep or wakening…I don’t know…

Post-Review-A-Day-After: Man..bad prose!!…the narrative is too jerky for my own comfort…but it was the first draft..and my drafts always need logical connectors and fillers. Right now – i can’t manage to provide those… as my brain is going dead slowly from low sugar level in da blood…

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